See you in 2010!
We spent time with family. We ate italian sausages. We played a part in some couple's engagement story in front of the National Christmas tree. We opened our new pajamas. And I cried while trying to read our traditional Christmas books.
Or any other body part for that matter. Now it was another story for Alex and Josiah.....
ice fishing with my husband!
He filleted several of these for me, and I fried them up, along with some homemade hush puppies. I even made some homemade tartar sauce. Delicious! The rest are all frozen for another time. We're planning to go back to the same lake Monday after Christmas. Can't wait!
She's ninety and it's hard for her to see. Glaucoma has made her world blurry and the only way she can look at her gossip magazines is with a lighted magnifying glass. The glass can't help her to read though, those days are over.
Her nails bother her and the kids joke that she shouldn't let me near them - I cut everything too short. But she does want me near them and she asks if I will trim them for her. I'm nervous about this, the last thing I want to do is injure her and I don't have my reading glasses with me. I'm at the stage where I can still read my watch and a menu without glasses, but I won't sign a contract without them and I probably shouldn't pull out splinters or go after eyelashes unless they're on. I really should start to carry them with me.
Glasses or no, she wants me to help her, and I can't say no. I pick up her cosmetics bag and find her nail trimmer and nail file. "Do I have an emery board?" she asks doubtfully. Yes, sweetie, I've got it.
I gently pick up one hand and cut the end of the nail, careful not too cut it too short. She tests the length against another finger, then her cheek. "That's perfect." Carefully, slowly, I cut and file the rest of them.
Together we examine the polish and decide her nail color is still pretty - no need to repaint. She feels all of her fingertips one by one and thanks me in a more heartfelt manner than I deserve. This chokes me up a little. Small pleasures. Small gifts. Little things that matter.
At the airport, I am overcome with the same feeling I always get when I leave her. What if this is the last time we see each other? Have I made her feel loved enough? Does she know how much she matters to us?
Cassandre starts to tear up at the airport, looking at a carved stone heart "made in Utah." She wants it to remind her of this trip. To remind her of her great-grandmother. I remind her that she'll be back next month, she'll see her again soon. She nods solemnly and asks me again to please buy her the necklace. She promises to pay me back. (Who could ask for the money?)
At home Cassandre picks up the ancient candlesticks my grandfather sent to my grandmother from England right before he was shot down and killed over Germany in WWII. I am responsible for taking care of these precious memories, but I have not washed them lately and they are tarnished and dirty. Cassandre wants to clean them and together we take them apart, piece by loving piece. We wash and dry each one, noting where the silversmith has encoded "A" "B" "C" and "5" "6" "7" so we know exactly which part goes back where. Soap and water make good progress, but not enough. We buy some polish to bring the shine back.
It makes us feel connected to do this work. Hands on labor to restore some dignity to something so precious. We don't try to make it perfect, just better.
Yesterday, I spoke to our church's Friday MOPS group. Their theme this year centers around the book, Make Today Count by Maxwell. I was asked to choose one of the chapters, which consist of values that one should incorporate into daily life. Since it was their final meeting before Christmas, I chose Generosity.
Here are some thoughts from the talk:
Most know that today's Santa Claus originates with St. Nicholas, who lived during the third century in what is now Turkey. After his parents death, he devoted his life to the Church and gave away his entire fortune to those in need. "St. Nick" lived his life in such a way that he became known as a gift-giver.
But, I am not sure Nicholas was just - POOF - a giver.
Do we have to teach children to share? If you've ever been a room with a couple of 2-year-olds, you know the answer to that!
I once watched a recording of Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz), and he talked about how we all believe this life is our own movie. "I am the star! The rest of you are just supporting players."
The reality is, we have to be purposeful in our giving – it doesn't come naturally to most of us.
So, what does it mean to be generous?
First, it's not just about money. Give of yourself: your time, your attention, your talent...to name a few not-for-sale gifts.
Proverbs 11:25 says, “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” (NIV)
But sometimes we are called to share our money/wealth.
Jesus said, “Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.” (Matthew 5:42)
A caveat: don't lend money. But Nicole, you just quoted a verse that says don't turn away someone asking to borrow.
I know of a family that if they agree to give someone money, they never look at it as a loan. They make a conscious decision to never expect to get it back. If they can't give it away, they don't give it.
Anyone every loaned a friend or family member a bit of cash and you're still waiting for that payback? Makes holiday get-togethers a bit awkward, eh? If they even come around you any more.
Just give it - expecting nothing in return.
Okay - I get it. I need to be generous. But how?
1) Value Others
Treat everyone with respect. Yes, even that annoying woman in the grocery store line!
A week or two ago I was at our local Kroger. The lines were four and five people deep. A manager opened the register next to my line and directed me over. As I loaded my purchases on to the belt, a woman checking out to the right of us loudly vied for the mangers attention:
"EXCUSE ME! I need to tell you that if you don't get some baggers in this store, I am never shopping here again! The cashiers don't know how to bag my groceries, and I am tired of doing it myself. Are you listening!? Are you going to get some baggers over here..."
On and on went the diatribe, as the manager, softly and graciously, called over some department managers to bag the woman's purchases as her sheepish husband looked at the floor.
My first thought was, "Wow, I didn't know it was my constitutional right to demand a bagger at the grocery store." I had a few other thoughts that weren't as "nice".
But as I left the store, a still small voice whispered, "What if that woman just lost someone close to her? What if she just got word that someone she loves is facing a terminal illness?"
Bottom line: we have no idea what someone might be going through that would cause them to spring a leak - a rather loud one at that! - in a grocery store while dozens of bystanders gawk. Sure, some people are just rude, but God loves even them, doesn't He?
God calls me to a lot of things, but one of them is certainly not judging (and thank goodness too).
2) Know what people value
This will mean giving of your time – getting to know them. If you are like me, the last thing you have is time! But the dividends of taking time to get to know those you say you love: unmeasurable.
3) Make yourself more valuable
Work
on you! What are you doing to cultivate character and personal growth
in your own life? A few ways to do that include time with God (prayer,
Bible reading), being a part of a church, developing relationships
there via small groups or discipleship classes, and finding that friend
who knows and loves you enough to tell you when you are crazy.
(Seriously. If you don't have one of those, you need one. Pronto.)
4) Love people unconditionally
It doesn't get more specific than this: “The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.” (1 John 4:21, MSG)
5) Find a reason to give every day – and then DO IT!
It could be as simple as letting that guy with just a gallon of milk jump in front of you in line at the wholesale club. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money or involve a lot of fanfare - it's simply looking for those small moments when you can be an encouragement to someone else.
6) Don't wait for “better times” to be generous
Let's be real. If you are saying, "I'll give more when the economy rebounds or I get a raise at work or my retirement fund is at a respectable level again," you're really just kidding yourself. There will always be something - braces for the kids, a blown tire, leaky faucets. As the old Nike ads said, "Just do it."
As I finished up this little talk, I handed out tea bags with a small note attached: Generosi-tea.
I asked those moms to do something generous - big or small - before
they enjoyed that herbal brew. I hope each one will look at that small
gift and be encouraged to embrace a new mantra: I will live to give.
That's exactly what God's Son did for each one of us. He chose life here on earth, and then He gave it away that we ALL might live.
Of all the gifts you give this Christmas, may Generosi-tea be at the top of the list.
(*I can't take complete credit for the big ideas represented here - Maxwell's chapter on Generosity was vital as a jumping off place.)
If there is anything my mother isn't known for, it's being graceful on her feet. My mother trips and bumbles over the smallest things, sometimes over nothing at all.
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